


Hermann's Got It Goin' On

by Tianlan



Category: Flight of the Conchords (TV), Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Hermann is Snappy, M/M, Newt Means Well, Why Can't A Heterosexual Guy Tell A Heterosexual Guy He Thinks His Booty Is Fly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 11:16:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3648309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tianlan/pseuds/Tianlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermann's in a funk, Newt tries to help ('tries' being the operative word).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hermann's Got It Goin' On

**Author's Note:**

> If you somehow haven't seen or heard 'Bret You Got It Goin' On', this video may be helpful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwFPJ2AWrEU
> 
> I don't own Pacific Rim, Flight of the Conchords, or any kaiju eyeballs.

Newt would have said that Hermann was in a bad mood, except that that implied Hermann occasionally had _good_ moods. Still, though, this one seemed worse than normal. He didn’t usually go so far as to slam his precious desk drawers, and he’d been scribbling furiously on his chalk board all morning with Wagner playing so loudly through his headphones that Newt could hear it from the other side of the lab. Eventually, he leaned over and tapped the mathematician on the shoulder.

                “Hey, dude. What’s up?” Hermann removed his headphones, and Newt repeated himself.

                “Nothing is up.”

                “Nope, something’s definitely up. And you know how I can tell?” Hermann glared, but Newt took that to mean ‘please, go on’. “Because you’re miscalculated the value of Q in the sixth line of your equation and you don’t appear to have noticed yet.”

                Hermann muttered something under his breath and began to scrub the blackboard clean, without even seeming to look at what he was doing.

“Woah-woah-woah! Hey! That bit was fine, you just needed to…hey, Hermann, stop!”

                Hermann threw the cloth down, leaving puffs of chalk dust to slowly settle, and sank into his chair. “No, you are wrong. It was all useless. Stick to your pickled monster parts.”

                Newt glanced around his side of the room. From a jar on the windowsill, a kaiju eyeball gazed serenely back at him. ‘Pickled monster parts’ seemed a fair assessment. “So if it’s not the math that’s gettin’ at you, what is?” Hermann was putting his headphones back on, about to turn his Wagner up again when Newt realised. “Hey! Didn’t you have a _date_ yesterday? Jesus, dude, did she stand you up or something?”

                Hermann made a strangled ‘urgh’ sound. Newt’s eyes widened. “ _Seriously?_ ”

                “I am inclined to wish that she had.”

                “Oho-ho?” Newt scooted his desk chair over to Hermann. “What happened, Herm?”

                “I don’t intend to discuss it.” He picked up a fresh stick of chalk and moved back to the board.

                Newton felt that he should at least try to cheer up his – perhaps not friend, but at least lab-partn…person who shared his lab. And if Hermann’s password to the wireless music system was the same as most of his other passwords (not that Newton had been hacking into anything) then he could probably stop the opera for long enough to fill Hermann’s ears with joy and his heart with laughter. At least, that was the plan. Eventually (having tried ‘Copernicus’ several times), Newt resorted to unplugging Hermann’s headphones and shouting, “Hey, dude, this’ll cheer you up!” as he hit play on the youtube video.

                “Hey there _Herms_ I see you lookin’ down,” he sang along, doing his best to drown out the ‘Bret’. Hermann looked furious – somewhat predictably. “Sure, you’re weedy, and kinda shy…”

                “What is this?”

                “Awesome, is what this is! – _Herm_ you got it goin’ o-o-o-on…”

                “This is laughable.”

                “Kinda the point, dude. - Why can’t a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy…”

                “I cannot work under these conditions!”

                Newton was rocking out with his eyes closed, bobbing from side to side with his glasses case held up as a mike. “Don’t let anybody tell you you’re not humpable-“

                “Enough!”

                “-because you’re bumpable-“

                “ _Enough!”_ Hermann stumbled against the edge of the desk, reaching for Newt’s mouse, and knocked a stack of papers flying. But he made it, and despite Newt’s protests the music stopped.

                “I am not the slightest bit interested in whether you consider me –“ he shuddered “- _bumpable._ I merely wish to be allowed to continue with my work in _peace!”_

                Newt, repentant, slid out of his chair. “Alright, buddy, I’m sorry. How about I go get coffee and we talk science for a bit? Would you like that?”

                “Will that satisfy your apparently urgent need to provide me with some sort of comfort before we can both get on with our studies?” Newton nodded. “In which case, I gladly accept.”


End file.
